Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Baby I'm Back... Err... AGAIN!

Call off the search parties folks, I'm back (for the second time).

That's right, we're back from our Christmas vacay at "Heaven on Gulf Blvd," which, much like the REAL heaven, lacked internet access (that's my guess, anyway). Internet access difficulties aside, the holiday season was completely fabulous; spent the same way so many of my trips to Florida tend to be spent - helping my mom do all of the things she typically needs to get done. This time around, said "things" resulted in us pulling an all-nighter on Sunday as we put the finishing touches on everything that needed to be done prior to her vacation. All-nighters with Mom are fun... turns out that we both get a little silly after 20+ hours without sleep. :-) It also turns out that staying awake all night makes me the most chipper person in the car on the way to the airport at 4 am... and the most incoherent person at 6 am as the flight attendant is explaining why our flight out of Pensacola has been delayed (I'm still a bit unclear on that one).

Did I get sidetracked? Maybe - not sure if this had a true beginning or end point. Anyway, as I was saying, this totally terrific vacay ended up being like so many of my previous trips to Florida - with great intentions to see some friends and catch up which never actually pan out. With the exception of the one person who seems to understand how the Mack women work when they get together and knows how to make sure our visits actually take place, I didn't get to see any of the people I was supposed to. Long story short - Shannon, Barbara, Heather, Ms. Buckley and anyone else I missed - MY BAD - my days in FL flew by faster than I would have ever thought possible.

Speaking of the holidays, I'm sure some of you are wondering if and/or what I decided to get my hubby as a gift. Wait for it... a ping-pong paddle and ping-pong balls. It's true - I wouldn't lie to you guys. Explanation: there's a ping-pong table at his work and sometimes he mentions how he wants to play, but can't find any balls ("that's what she said") or a paddle - so now he has his own that he can keep in his locker. A bit crazy I know, but it shows that I listen when he tells me various things about his day, right? That's gotta stand for something.

As for everyone else, I spent so much time trying to figure out my transportation issues, what to do about my Mom's birthday (12/24) and other various things that I neglected to get gifts for the other fabulous people in my life (seems like there's been a lot of forgetting stuff around here on my part, huh?)...SO if you end up with a gift or card in the mail from me in the next few days, please consider it to be a New Year's gift and not a Christmas gift (thereby making it on-time)! AWESOME!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ohhhh Shambo

As I sit here and watch the finale of Survivor Samoa, I am reminded about what made me start the "Top Five Things that I Strongly Dislike Right Now" list from yesterday... freakin' SHAMBO. I ended up not including her, because I decided to make it semi-humorous... but the fact remains that this chick is still IRKING me to no end... and with that - I have to take it to the "airwaves."



Even now, as the camera pans her way during the second to last tribal counsel, I'm throwing up in my mouth just a little. Why, oh why do I dislike her SO much?! Well... let's start with the hair... she's got this curly mullet thing going on. The other day, she had the nerve to say that she's had the same haircut since 1983 or 1986 or something. When asked why she hasn't changed it, she replied, "Because you don't mess with perfection, baby!" REALLY?! If that's perfection then.. dang - I don't even know how to finish that statement... REALLY?! REALLY SHAMBO?!



But I don't think it's the hair... not totally, anyway. Let's move on to my next issue -- "S-H-A-M-B-O." You want us to call you "Shambo?!" You know that you're a woman, right Shannon Waters? You know that you're NOT related to Sylvester Stallone, right? I'm against it. I'm not going to ask America to call me "Dino" or "Dumbo" just because my name starts with a "D" and I'm portly (sounds better than fat)... OR AM I? Maybe I'm the one that's got it wrong...



Alas, I don't think it's the "Shambo" thing either - even though I have to admit that it's right at the top of my list right now. No, what really got me is that she turned on her own tribe - I'm a fan of loyalty. But then that chick took it to the next level by aligning herself with Russell (by far Survivor's best villain yet) and claiming, "I trust Russell implicitly - we're cut from the same cloth."



------------------ BREAKING NEWS: that heifer just called someone "FECKLESS," during the final tribal counsel. REALLY?! I'm pretty sure I HATE you, Shambo ------------------



As I was saying, "we're cut from the same cloth." Russell openly lied, cheated and back-stabbed people left and right and THAT'S who you opted to align yourself with? THAT'S the type of cloth you're cut from?! Silly rabbit.



But I don't even think it's that. I think it's because you're a 40+ year old woman who whined, lost a chicken and brought absolutely nothing to the game. As a true fan of Survivor, I just think we would have been better off if someone else had gotten your spot on the show. Of course, I do take comfort in knowing that you will NOT be crowned "Sole Survivor" tonight and that you will NOT be going home with a million bucks. With that out of my system, I can sleep easy tonight!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Baby I'm Back...

That's right folks - due to Popular Demand, I've decided to grace the world with my {online} presence once again - Lucky You!

For the record, by "popular demand," I mean the 4 people who asked me about my old blog the other day... YOU'RE WELCOME WORLD!

Given that it's the season of cheer, I decided that my comeback post should be filled with... wait for it... wait for it... The Top Five Things that I Strongly Dislike Right Now (sounds a little better than "hate" don't you think?)

Here's the short list (make an effort to withhold judgment until we're done people):

  • Coupons
  • Babies/Kids
  • Christmas Music
  • My Husband
  • Tex-Mex

1. Coupons: Ok, so I know that coupons are, by nature, a GOOD thing... however, coupons are emerging as my number one enemy this holiday season. How can I NOT go to Bath & Body Works and spend $10 when I can get an item for FREE with a coupon?! AND since I can print that same coupon several different times - I can spend a couple of $10 and get a couple items for free! How could I NOT go to the Coach Store when I just got this 25% off coupon in the mail?! Long story short - at this rate, I could go broke saving money with coupons if I allowed myself to give in to this foolishness.

2. Babies/Kids: Babies/Kids are a gift from heaven, right? SURRRE, but here's the thing - it only takes one super cute kid to make you rethink your ENTIRE life plan. I had dinner with a group of people the other night and our "dining coordinator" brought her sweet daughter. Just when I think I'm good with my "Our life is fantastic without our own kids" plan, I take one look at Lil Miss A. eating her Cheerios and Strawberries and I swear I feel a little twinge in my uterus! Who needs this type of confusion?! Especially with all those great coupons out there...

3. Christmas Music: Festive? Yes. But have you ever noticed how a single holiday song can take you back to a "simpler" time? For me, it's "Silent Night" by the Temptations. When I hear that song (like I did earlier today), it always takes me back to Christmas Eve car rides to Mississippi. The whole family together going to visit the Grands. When you grow up, families eventually separate and go their separate ways and you tend to forget how lucky you were during those long, cramped car rides. With all those cute kids and save $10 off of a $30 purchase coupons out there, who's got time to be homesick and missing family?!

4. My Husband: Have you met this guy?! I say, "honey, what do you want for Christmas?" He says, "well, let's get a deep freezer for the house - I think that would be nice." A deep freezer for the house? By definition it's FOR THE HOUSE... what about him? When I ask if I can get him something small (in addition to the deep freezer, of course), he says, "no, let's just save the rest of the Christmas money toward a trip next year or something." REALLY?! My Christmas list contains jewelry, Wii games, clothes, etc. and his list contains a trip for both of us to enjoy. Just as I thought I had I bobbed and weaved my way through the coupons, kids and Christmas music madness, I bump head-first into the most non-materialistic selfless man who brings out the very best in me.

5. Tex-Mex: I should have said, "On The Border Tex-Mex." Have you been to your local (or not so local) On The Border restaurant lately?! O - M - G. From the chips and salsa they greet you with to the $6.99 Create Your Own Combo to the delectable brownie dessert - these people are killing me. It's all just SO good. I could eat it everyday (literally - which is weird for me). And I would rapidly gain like a THOUSAND pounds... not exactly the look I'm going for. What, with my fantastic husband and all of the memorable Christmas music and all of the sweet kids and all of the Buy One, Get One Free coupons who's got time (or the energy) to weigh a 1,000 pounds?! :-)

So there it is... the top five things I really like (or love - in the case of #4 AND #5) clouded by a veil of dislike based on the points noted above. See there, aren't you glad you opted NOT to be all judgey after reading the short list?! (OR don't you feel bad now about electing to be judgey despite my note saying to withhold said judgment?!)

Ahhhh... it was good to get that off my chest. I'm glad to be back, people. Join me again for future inner musings won't you...